candyland-cane

review pick-ups

2009-10-16T03:40:00.000-07:00

(old reviews are placed in our old pick up site which is http://www.candyland-pick-ups.yolasite.com/ so if you have requested a review and haven't pick it up yet just check out that site)

Name: rawr

Fanfic Title: My Husband Is A Player

Fanfic URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/mushie16

Reviewer: Dak Angel

Review

Title: 5/5
I can obviously see why you named it the way it is. Of course, it fits with the story. But I was wondering if there’s any other title you could have named it, because I think ‘My Husband Is A Player’ is too formal.
Poster/Background: 3/10
Well, you don’t have a poster, so I guess I have to deduct some points off. Since the story is so long, I think you should have requested for a poster already, unless you just started and wrote that many and haven’t request. But I supposed you don’t have to request. I think it just makes the story look more appealing. Also, I don’t think the background color matches with the story that much.
Forewords: 7/10
You included the characters and a little spoiler of the plot, which most forewords are supposed to have. They introduce the story a little bit, and it also hints whether you have good or bad grammar. It’s also supposed to be interesting, so it can draw the reader in a little bit more. When I read your forewords, I kind of figured that you don’t really have good grammar (and you also stated it). To tell you the truth, your forewords didn’t really catch my attention.
Plot: 11/15
I’ve seen a lot of stories like this already, so I can predict what’s going to happen next. Most parts of your story are predictable, so it turns out to be a little bit boring. You didn’t explain the story quite well. Even though it’s part predictable, it confused me at some parts. I also think that you extended it a lot, which usually loses a lot of readers. If it’s too long, it’s frustrating.
Creativity/Originality: 6/10
Actually, I’ve seen a bunch of stories that are related to this one. There’s a player, he becomes your husband, and then you guys fall in love after spending time with each other. It’s not exciting if it’s predictable. I honestly think you should have made a twist.
Flow: 8/10
At some parts, I think it went by too fast. You should have slowed it down a bit, but at times it’s pretty okay. Also, somehow the story went fast and slow and then back to fast. I think you should read it over again, just to make sure.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 4/10
Sorry, but I saw A WHOLE BUNCH of grammar problems in here. Also, I think that you shouldn’t abbreviate what you wrote. It doesn’t look professional and looks like you don’t care how you write. Here are some examples:
You put: You smiles and kiss Jaejoong cheek while Jaejoong was driving his eyes widen when you gave him kiss at his cheek and starts blushing while the car ride was all laughing,giggling and talks..
A better way: You smiled and kissed Jaejoong’s cheek while he was driving. His eyes widened when you did, and he started blushing. During the car ride, you guys were laughing, giggling, and talking.
-------
You put: today is a cheerful sunny day and today is your favorite day wanna know why because you and your Oppas are going to the beach~!!!
A better way: Today is a cheerful, sunny day which is why it is your favorite. Do you want to know why? It’s because you and your Oppas are going to the beach!
------------
You put: they all start running while you scream and chase them finally you caught your Top Oppa and push him inside and then Yoochun then Seungri lastly Yunho..and all of you starts playing inside the water..
A better way: They all started running while you screamed and chased them. Finally, you caught your Top Oppa and pushed him inside. Yoochun came next, then Seungri, and last Yunho. All of you started playing inside the water.
-------------
You put: When u had your old phone it keeps on ringing and ringing alot of voicemail from Jiyong txt and calls you read the txt and listen to reach voice mail but you always end up erasing it and crying
A better way: When you had your old phone, it kept on ringing and ringing. You also received a lot of voicemails from Jiyong. You read the text and listen to each voice mail, but you always ended up erasing it and crying.
I hope you improve more on your grammar. It would make you more professional.
Characterization: 8/10
You expressed your characters, but not that much. You included them, but didn’t give much detail about their lives. I think that you should have given the reader more details and information about each character.
Writing Style: 7/10
I don’t really mind play-written format. What bothered me was that you didn’t write each word correctly. It seemed that you just wanted to write and get it over with. I’m not really sure that you care about your story. It seemed a little empty, if you’re getting what I say. I think you should read over what you’ve done so far and think about how to make it better.
Overall Enjoyment: 2/5
Like I said a good story doesn’t have a lot of grammar mistakes, isn’t predictable, has a special twist, and gives the reader some excitement.
Bonus: 2/5
1. You continued your story for a long time. I wouldn’t be able to do that.
2. You sort of communicated with the readers.Total: 63/100

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I hope this doesn’t offend you. I just want to help you :) I hope you’ll be a better writer once you grow up.

graphic pick-ups

2009-10-16T03:39:00.001-07:00

Name: Genevive
Story Title: pAsSiOn^^
Fanfic URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/glam_sweetia/
Designer: Sweetrose
Poster: http://a.imagehost.org/view/0443/passionps
Background: http://a.imagehost.org/voew/0389/passionbg

Update

2009-10-15T23:16:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, our site has been successfully running for a week!! Anyways, I'm just here to say that a lot of our staff has left us!!
So I'm opening staff applications again!!
All positions are now open and vacant: I need reviewers, advertisers, trailer makers and graphic designers too!!
I really hope those who are interested would take this opportunity to apply!!
But, till then all trailer request are all close!! Sorry but I can't seem to be contacting both of our trailer makers, and they still have like 3 requests to finish up!!
I'm really sorry to those who have requested, I hope you would forgive me for this sudden decision..but I really think its best, since we are still not sure whether both of our trailer makers are still 'alive'..LOL..anyways, I'm really sorry to those that I have cause inconvenience..:(
And to those that wanted to pick up your review, I'm really sorry to cause you any inconvenience because of the wrong link..just pick up your review at http://candyland-pickups.yolasite.com
Last but not least, to the staffs, please finish all the unfinish requests!!

Yours Sincerely,
Ice- San

Grand Opening

2009-10-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

Yes!!! Today's our re-opening!!! Haha!! Hope everyone would continue their dedication to this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours Sincerely,
Ice- San

Pick Ups

2009-10-04T02:25:00.001-07:00

graphic pick-up
review pick-up

Trailer Request Form

2009-10-01T01:30:00.000-07:00

Trailer Request (Close for now)

Have you read the rules yet??
The rules are on the request page!!
Read them before you request for a trailer!!

*it might take a period of time for a trailer to be done, please be patient!!

Trailer

Review Request Form

2009-10-01T01:27:00.000-07:00

Review Request

Have you read the rules yet??
The rules are on the request page!!
Read them before requesting for a review!!!

*we try our best to be honest with you, don't feel sad if we think your story is not up to standard, we're here to help, we believe you could improve!!

Review

Graphic Request Form

2009-10-01T01:24:00.000-07:00

Graphic Request

Have you read the rules yet??
The rules are on the request page!!
Read it before you make a request!!

Graphic

Blacklist

2009-10-01T01:19:00.000-07:00

NOBODY WOULD LIKE THEIR NAMES TO BE HERE

Cancel Request

2009-10-01T01:08:00.001-07:00

Cancellation Of Request

If you need to cancel your request, please feel in this form and send it to candy_land@bbt.tw.

Subject: Cancellation of Request
Name:
Email:a
Requested For:
Story Title:
Fanfic URL:
Reason:
Anything Else:

New Host

2009-09-28T16:38:00.000-07:00

CANDY LAND has just change host!!!
Grand Re- opening of new site is on the 9th of October!!!

status

2009-09-04T07:14:00.000-07:00

Graphic Request
Flavor Of Life (Jojun)
Is this the thing we called, 'love'? (Jojun)

Review Request
Design For Love (Ronix)

Trailer Request
Love Remembers (Octavian)
Meeting U (Octavian)
Design For Love (jdragon)

Requests

2009-09-04T07:03:00.000-07:00

Graphics Request

I.Do not request from us if you have already requested form another site. This is disrespectful to the designer

II.Please include a High Quality picture you would like to use. If it is Low Quality,

the designers would not use it.

III.You must use the graphic once it is ready for pick- up

IV.Please don’t rush the designers. They have their lives too. Please wait at least a week and a half for your request. Three weeks would be the max you have to wait.

V.Provide us a valid URL for your fanfic and picture you would like us to use.

VI.Remember to credit us in your fanfic once you have picked up your graphic. Please don’t claim the work yours.

VII.If you have to cancel your request, please give an acceptable explanation.

VIII.Do not change anything on the graphic once you have picked it up.

IX. We would immediately hand your request to another designer if the designer you requested is unavailable.

X.Your request would be in the pending list. Please wait at most five days from the day you have requested for your request to be on the pending list.

XI.Last but not least, if you don’t follow the rules, you would receive major consequences for example getting blacklisted or so.

Review Request

I.Please be patient with us, don’t rush us. We have our own lives too. Your reviews would be ready to be picked up in a week and a half of at most a month.

II.Your story has to be at least 4 chapters long to request for a review, the only exception for this rule is when you are requesting for a one-shot review.

III.Reviewers might be harsh but it is because we believed that you could do better.

IV.Please don’t hate or get mad at us if you received a bad review.

V.Please post your review in your next chapter as soon as you it is ready to be pick up. Remember to credit us for it.

VI.Please provide us with a valid and working URL for your story.

VII.Please give an acceptable explanation if you have to cancel your request.

VIII.If the reviewer you requested isn’t available to finish your request, we would immediately hand it over to another reviewer.

IX.Please follow these rules. Its best for everybody. Rule breakers would receive major consequences for example getting black listed.

X.Last but not least, your request would be on the pending list. Please check the pending list for your request. Please be patient, your request would be on the pending list at most in five days time. Remember to tag us once you receive your review and please be patient.

Grading

Title: /5
Poster/Background: /10
Forewords: /10
Plot: /15
Creativity/Originality: /10
Flow: /10
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: /10
Characterization: /10
Writing Style: /10
Overall Enjoyment: /5
Bonus: /5

Total: /100

Trailer Request

I.Please do not request from us if you have requested a trailer for the same fanfic from another site.

II.Please be patient with the trailer makers. Please wait for at least a month for your request. Please be patient. We would inform you once your request is done.

III. Do not rush them; they have their own lives too.

IV. You must use it once it’s done. Please respect them; they have put a lot of work and effort to finish your request. V.You must provide a working URL for your story.

VI. Please obey the rules, if you don’t you might receive major consequences for example getting black- listed.

VII.Last but not least, please remember to credit us and tag us once you have picked up your request. Please wait for at most a month for your request. Please check that your request is on the pending list. Please be patient, your request would be on the pending list at most in five days.

staff application

2009-09-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

Please read this before applying
Sorry about this, but staffs please obey the rules!!! :0

Graphic designers
1. Have at least 3 weeks to finish a request.
2. Please tell me earlier if your status is busy or your going on hiatus. So that i can hand your works to the other co- workers earlier.
3. Please credit our site on the poster that you made.
4. Please hand your work to us along with the request form.
5. A warning will be given to those who failed to obey the rules.
6. Those who recieved more than 3 warnings will received major consequences for example getting fired immediately from our site.
7. Sorry if it was a little too harsh, it is for the best. Please understand this.

Reviewers
1. Have at least 4 weeks to complete a request.
2. Please tell me earlier if your status is busy or your going on hiatus. So that i can hand your works to the other co- workers earlier.
3. Please hand your work to us along with the request form.
4. A warning will be given to those who failed to obey the rules.
5. Those who recieved more than 3 warnings will received major consequences for example getting fired immediately from our site.
6. Sorry if it was a little too harsh, it is for the best. Please understand this.
7. By the way, try giving 3 sentence reviews for each section. Try correcting some of their mistakes for them so that she understand what you're trying to inform them. Try to help them as much as you possibly can. Candy Land will not accept reviews that have less than 3 sentences for each section, sorry. It will benefit both the reviewer and the writer.

Advertisers
1. Please help to promote our site everyday, try your very best to get Candy Land to be one of the most requested sites!!!
2. Tell me earlier if your status is busy or your going on hiatus.
3. Promote our site by crediting your name in the end of the ads, to let me know that you're doing your jobs in Winglin.
4. A warning will be given to those who failed to obey the rules.5
. Those who recieved more than 3 warnings will received major consequences for example getting fired immediately from our site.
6. Sorry if it was a little too harsh, it is for the best. Please understand this.

Trailer Makers
1. Have at least 4 weeks to finish a request.
2. Tell me earlier if your status is busy or your going on hiatus,so that I can hand your request to other makers.
3. Please hand your work to us along with the request form.
4. Remember to credit our site in the trailer.
5. A warning will be given to those who failed to obey the rules.
6. Those who recieved more than 3 warnings will receive major consequences for example getting fired immediately from our site.
7. Sorry if it was a little too harsh, it is for the best. Please understand this.

Click Apply for Staff Application Form:
Apply!

2009-09-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

affies:

staffs

2009-09-04T05:01:00.000-07:00

Web Mistress
Name: Candy Cane
Screen Name: Ice San
Email: candy_land@bbt.tw
Nationality: Taiwanese
Age: 15
Idols: Lollipop, Fahenheit, Choc 7, Hey Girl, Jay Chou, S.H.E., Nicholas Teo and all Taiwanese Stars
Dream boyfriend: Lollipop's Wang Zi/ Prince
About Me: A bubbly and optmistic teenager that loves watching asian dramas!! Love music and watching MVs!! One day, I wanna be Mrs. Qiu Sheng Yi. My personal quote in life is "live life to the max"

Co- Web Mistress
Name: Kaye
Screen Name: Kaye
Nationality: Filipino
Age: 12
Idols: 2NE1, SHE, Yun Eun Hye, Fahrnheit and many more
Dream boyfriend: Kim Bum
About Me: Hi, I'm Clariann but I'm mostly known as Kaye. I'm the web mis of My Sensation. I'm bubbly and you can count on me. I'm really hooked up with web surfing. I'm also a writter in winglin.

Graphic Designer
Screen Name: Sweetrose
Email: dedet_diaz@yahoo.com
Nationality: Half Chinese Half Filipino
Age:12

Screen Name: iasianese
Email: asian_linhy@hotmail.com
Nationality: Vietnamese- Australian
Age: Not Telling

Screen Name: ReddishLady
Email: winter.love45@hotmail.com
Nationality: Bruneian (Half Chinese Half Filipino)
Age: 17

Screen Name: Star Chan (HIATUS)
Email: xinnnihiew@hotmail.com
Nationality: Malaysan
Age: 13

Screen Name: AugustPrince
Email: shujuan_2027@hotmail.com
Nationality: Singaporean
Age: 19

Screen Name: Choi Eunmi
Email: choi_eunmi94@yahoo.com
Nationality: Korean Japanese French German Thai American Native Amercan
Age: 14

Screen Name: Beautiful Life
Email: christina.yang@ymail.com
Nationalit: Hmong
Age :16

Screen Name: JirlinA
Email: kvang25@hotmail.com
Nationality: Hmong American
Age: 14

Screen Name: HidayahF
Email: twilight-lover4eva@hotmail.com
Nationality: Malaysian
Age: 12

Screen Name: Brii
Email: guyanesebaybee121@tmail.com
Nationality: Guyanese and Chinese
Age: 14

Screen Name: Buju
Email: sunny-chai@hotmail.com
Nationality: Thai
Age: 16

Screen Name: Kawii
Email: xx_kawii_xx@yahoo.com
Nationality: Vietnamese
Age: 15

Screen Name: Chococat1993
Email: cococat1993@gmail.com
Nationality: Vietnamese
Age: 16

Screen Name: Jojun
Email: jonz_cutiepie94@yahoo.com
Nationality: Filipino
Age: 15

Screen Name: GoChun
Email: gochuni@hotmail.com
Nationality: Asian (Hmong)
Age: 12

Reviewers
Screen Name: Lyselmae Atienza
Email: lyselmae_112@hotmail.com
Nationality: Filipino- Canadian
Age: 13

Screen Name: Ronix
Email: arceo_pink15@yahoo.com
Nationality: Asian
Age: 14

Screen Name: SaMaNtHa
Email: houayang94@hotamail.com
Nationality: Asian
Age: 15

Screen Name: .flavored
Email: her_ainess@hotmail.com
Nationality: Singaporean
Age: 19

Screen Name: Choi EunMi
Email: choi_eunmi94@yahoo.com
Nationality: Korean Japanese French German Thai American Native American
Age: 14

Screen Name: THE_AnGeL
Email: mailto:%20gnaij_legna@hotmail.com
Nationality: Chinese
Age: Unknown

Screen Name: KawaIIPudding
Email: kawaiipudding@gmal.com
Nationality: Malaysian
Age: 17

Screen Name: DarkAngel
Email: Tracyngo777@yahoo.com
Nationality: Vietnamese
Age: 12

Screen Name: themorningshines
Email: xiaoxin_1993@hotmail.com
Nationality: Sinagaporean
Age: 16

Screen Name: Sparkly1996
Email: miao.grace@yahoo.com
Nationality: Chinese American
Age: 13

Screen Name: Stephanie
Email: stepjne21@hotmail.com
Nationality: Malaysian Chinese
Age: 19

Advertisers
Screen Name: Ice- San
Email: candy_land@bbt.tw
Nationality: Taiwanese
Age: 15

Screen Name: KawaIIPudding
Email: kawaiipudding@gmail.com
Nationality: Malaysian
Age: 17

Screen Name: Jojun
Email: jonz_cutiepie94@yahoo.com
Nationality: Filipino
Age: 15

Trailer Makers
Screen Name: Jdragon (HIATUS)
Email: jdrag0n3@yahoo.com
Nationality: Filipino- American
Age: 14